They say sports bring people together—but mostly, they bring us together to suffer.

Let’s start with football, the national heartbreak service. Every match day, fans transform into coaches, referees, and prophets. You wear your team’s jersey, set snacks on the table, say a little prayer… and 90 minutes later, you’re staring at the ceiling, asking yourself why you even watch this game.

Our athletes? Talented, no doubt. But sometimes it feels like they warm up more than they perform. One moment you think you’re watching a world-class team, the next you’re wondering if they trained with Netflix and chill.

Fans are not any better. The man who can’t climb two flights of stairs is shouting, “He’s too slow!” Another one, whose only sport is running from responsibility, yells, “He should have scored that!”

And let’s talk about sports betting—because nothing tests your faith in humanity like waiting on a team from Kazakhstan to score one goal for your ticket to land. They hit the post, miss a penalty, and your ₦500 dream of becoming a millionaire turns into a motivational quote.

Even non-football sports get no peace. Win a gold medal, and the country throws a parade. But ask for proper funding or a new training facility? Suddenly, everyone’s phone is on airplane mode.

In conclusion:

Sports are supposed to be fun. But in reality?

It’s just exercise for your emotions.